


gallium and yttrium

by realbutnotsopure



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Annoying Little Brothers, Coming Out, M/M, declan just wants to keep his brothers safe okay, listen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 01:17:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11658594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realbutnotsopure/pseuds/realbutnotsopure
Summary: "In the end it was unexpected, but not at all surprising."Ronan comes out, Adam is tired and Declan, as always, just wants what's best for his family.





	1. anything

**Author's Note:**

> don't worry about the title. it's a pun.

The last time Ronan Lynch had sought approval from his older brother, Declan had been twelve, Ronan had been eleven and their father had been alive. Ronan had wanted his brother’s admiration and praise, had with careful gestures and detailed dreams asked for it and Declan had refused to give it. Ronan had dreamt a model car, an exact copy of the one they both had seen parked near the store the other day, the one they both had been in awe of. Their mother had smiled and had let them watch the shiny car drive away, engines singing. The Lynch family loved cars.

But when Ronan presented it to Declan, Declan had hated it. There was nothing wrong with the toy, Declan knew, and it was a nice gesture from his younger brother but it was the fact of how it came to be that made Declan resent it. Now, years later, Declan knew that it was jealousy, and sadness, that had made Declan reject his brother’s gift and in a way ruin their relationship. It was Declan’s cruel words and, years later, the death of their father, that broke the last thread of love between the brothers. And Ronan had never sought approval from him since.

So Declan hadn’t expected it, hadn’t been ready for it, when it happened again.

* * *

Declan Lynch knew a lot of things, probably more than he should, about his younger brother’s life. He knew the basics: his blood type, his allergies, the things written in doctor’s journals and the things on Ronan’s birth certificate. He knew Ronan’s personality: every emotion sans happiness was anger, he pushed people away when hurt, lived for adrenaline. He knew Ronan’s friends: Richard Gansey III, Adam Parrish and a short girl whom Declan couldn’t tell if Ronan liked or disliked; Blue Sargent. But his brother’s love life? That wasn’t something Declan had even considered.

He hadn’t even imagined it. In fact, he barely could imagine Ronan with anyone. The Ronan that his younger brother had grown up to become was no someone Declan could imagine _loving_ someone. Devotion, loyalty? Yes. But love? Ronan, with his addictive habits and cruel actions? Ronan, with his dreams of light and hard truths? In the end it was unexpected, but not at all surprising.

They had been talking, or rather, Declan had been talking to Ronan while the latter stood beside him, a bored and slightly annoyed look on his face, by the time Adam Parrish had walked up the steps to them, his shoulders hunched and eyes calm but tired, and mumbled something in Ronan’s ear. His hands dangling dangerously close to Ronan’s.

(Afterwards, Declan would muse on what a clever creep Adam Parrish was, dangling his fingers like he did. Not only did he give Ronan a choice, but it was entirely passable as an accident. No matter how Ronan wanted it to be perceived, it was bulletproof.)

And after a moment’s hesitation, Ronan had intertwined their fingers, and turned his eyes towards Declan, challenging and defensive. Declan noticed it, of course, as Ronan knew he would but what the younger brother didn’t know, or perhaps had forgot, was that Declan knew him better than Ronan thought. Declan saw right through the defiance in Ronan’s stance. It was more than that.

It was Ronan, watching Declan’s reaction carefully, dangerously careful. Ronan’s eyes begging and challenging his brother to say, do, or even hint that he wasn’t a hundred percent aboard with it and Ronan would pounce, bite, destroy. It would ruin everything they had.

It was Ronan, a smirk hidden behind his tense face, the pleasure he took in breaking the stereotype that Declan’s life was. Not ashamed but proud, proud of their intertwined hands. But at the same time, careful and terrified, not preparing to pounce but preparing for a blow. A hint of fear beneath the smirk.

It was Ronan Lynch loving Adam Parrish. And Adam, offering silent support beside Ronan, his eyes only on him, ready to comfort, protect, love.

But Ronan had forgotten that Declan loved him too.

_He wants a reaction, give him one._

It was true, Declan had never imagined Ronan with a boy, but Declan hadn’t imagined Ronan with anyone, so that part wasn’t as surprising as one would think. And the fact that it was Adam Parrish, not Gansey, wasn’t as surprising either. Ronan loved Gansey in his own way, but not like that, not like this. That was the only thing that threw Declan off. That Ronan, who only loved his home and his younger brother was standing before Declan, his hands around something else. Something just as light as the first two. Ronan _in love_ was the shocking part. _He wants a reaction._

Declan raised his left eyebrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit I was a bit scared to write this because coming out is such a big deal and I'll always remember how terrifying it was when I first did it. I hope I somehow did it justice and didn't make anyone uncomfortable reading it.


	2. and everything for you

A second passed and, of course, Ronan assumed the worst. But Declan knew that he would. So before his brother had the chance to react, Declan continued, “The nuns at St. Agnes told me they had seen you around there a lot, I take it this is why?”

It should have been enough. Declan had assumed it would be. But Ronan’s eyes narrowed and Declan’s stomach was at once filled with anxiety and regret. _Fuck._ In the matter of a second, Declan prepared himself for all the things that could happen now that Ronan was hurt. Declan wasn’t a saint, there had been a lot of times when Declan had simply wanted to kick his brother, for the things he said and the things he did. But this time he had wanted it to work between them.

But Adam Parrish interrupted them before anything had the time to happen, “He helped me with Latin.”

And this time Adam gave _both_ of them a choice, they could leave it at that, pretend that the conversation never had happened, that it was _unimportant_ , that Ronan had never held hands with Adam in front of his brother, that Ronan hadn’t just revealed perhaps his biggest secret. Ronan looked like that was exactly what he wanted to do, and continued, “Parrish sucks at it.”

But Declan was having none of it, “Is that all he sucks at?”

It was worth it, seeing the cool and collected Adam splutter and seeing Ronan turn beet red. How easy it was to turn this dramatic and magical pair of forest boys into blushing virgins. _Cute,_ Ashley would’ve commented, like the two of them were much older than the dreaming pair. But Declan did feel older.

But, of course, when Ronan became embarrassed he lashed out, “You’re a piece of shit.”

Declan rolled his eyes, “Sure thing, asshole.”

Adam had turned away, presumably to take control over his emotions and calm down, but Ronan just stared suspiciously at Declan. He still seemed hesitant. Declan sent him a smirk they both pretended didn’t more resemble a smile, and Ronan let out a breath they all pretended they didn’t notice.

Sensing that the danger was averted and he wasn’t needed anymore, Adam nodded at Declan and kissed Ronan’s cheek before darting past them into the house, leaving the two brothers standing in silence. For the first time in forever, there was barely any tension between the two. So, knowing both of them would deny it happened later, Declan hugged Ronan, squeezing his brother tightly before letting go. They both pretended not to see the emotion on both their faces as Ronan abruptly left afterwards and followed Adam into the house.

 

* * *

 

The next step, of course, was talking to Adam.

It was harder than Declan would’ve thought to find him. Much later that evening, when the sun had gone completely down and they all had eaten dinner and dessert, Adam had excused himself and gone out through the front door. Declan had waited, impatiently, until Matthew had begun a deep conversation about cars with Ronan, leaving the older one distracted. Declan had then, subtle as he sometimes could be, slipped out the door, leaving his brothers half-yelling at each other.

But Adam hadn’t been easy to find. Declan had to go around the entire house, and check in a barn or two, before he found Adam, leaning against one of the trees near his car, eyes closed, half asleep. In any other scenario, Declan would probably have let him sleep, knowing that the boy before him didn’t get enough of it. But a bit anxious that Ronan would escape Matthew’s conversation and come bursting through the front doors, seeing his brother and boyfriend talk and, of course, assume the worst, Declan wanted to get this over with.

Declan prodded Adam awake, perhaps gentler than he would’ve had, had he not heard snippets of stories about Adam’s childhood from Ronan and Gansey. Adam’s eyes opened at once, taking in his surrounding and Declan. His eyes narrowed because, of course, like Ronan he also assumed the worst. Declan rolled his eyes, “Relax, Parrish, I just want to talk.”

Adam pushed himself of the tree and simply stood, suspicion still clear in his face, “What stopped you before?”

Declan corrected, “I wanted to talk to you alone.”

Adam waited, making no move to continue the conversation. Declan swore in his head about teenagers, as if he was so much older. For not the first time this evening he felt like it. He nodded his heads towards path going towards a barn, “C’mon.”

Adam followed, warily, a step behind, like an animal ready to flee. Declan let him, “I want to talk about Ronan.”

“Gansey has already given me the shovel talk, you know,” Adam replied, his voice careful and slightly amused.

“I’m not here to give you another,” he said and Adam made a noise that sounded less like suspicion and more like disbelief.

“Then why am I here, Declan?”

Declan stopped at that, because he didn’t really know. He was so used to protecting his brothers from afar, without their participation or knowledge. He wasn’t sure why he had woken Adam up from his nap and why they were walking around the Barns, he had no clue what he wanted to say. “I’m not sure.”

Adam had stopped too when Declan did, and was now gazing back at the house, letting Declan collect his thoughts. Declan could see what had attracted Ronan so much about this boy. Adam let people figure themselves out. He was patient. Ronan needed patience.

“I can’t promise that he won’t be hurt,” Adam eventually said. Not an explanation or excuse. Simply the truth. “I’m leaving.”

 _“_ And Ronan is staying _,”_  Declan continued. The truth.

Adam nodded and put his hands in his pockets. Declan sighed.

“Do you plan on coming back?”

Adam gave a breathy laugh, “I haven’t even had this conversation with him yet.”

“I won’t tell,” Declan replied, unamused.

Now Adam sighed, “I don’t know. I didn’t plan to.”

Declan didn’t have Adam’s patience for figuring things out though, so he only gave Adam a second before asking, “And now?”

“I’m leaving,” Adam repeated. “But I think I’ll be back.”

 _“For him,”_ went unsaid. It was enough.

“Alright, Parrish,” Declan grunted. “That was all I wanted to make sure.”

When Adam didn’t move, Declan grabbed his arm and made his way back to the house. Adam stumbled after him but quickly regained his footing, “So do we have your blessing now?”

Declan sent him a look, “What?”

“‘Welcome into the family, Adam.’ You know, I’ve never had an older brother.”

“Piss off.”

Adam laughed, then abruptly yawned and rubbed his eyes.

Declan hit his shoulder, “Why are you here? Get some sleep.”

“Nah, I don’t mind,” Adam said, giving Declan a sleepy smile. “Ronan wanted me here.”

As if summoned, Ronan came out of the door by the time they made it back to the steps leading up to the house, Matthew right behind him. Ronan’s eyes narrowed, “What were you doing?”

Adam walked up the stairs and dangled his hand close to Ronan’s, “Declan gave us his blessing.”

The three boys on the stairs turned their heads towards Declan, all with different emotions on their head. Namely amusement, suspicion, and curiosity. Declan waited a second, dramatic effects and what not, and nodded.

It was Ronan's smile, in the end, that made it enough. Of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> give me more declan/adam interaction

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading<33  
> Comments are always so, so appreciated!!!!!


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